Saturday, February 28, 2009

Amen, Brothers

These guys really are amazing. I first discovered them when I saw Stormy Weather, starring my old pal Miss Lena Horne. I blogged about their amazing dance in that at the time, and then sort of forgot about them.

Last night during Spontaneity Club Amber and I put on Down Argentine Way, starring her favorite, Donna Meche, and my favorite Miss Charlotte Greenwood.

But really? No one can beat the Nicholas Brothers. Check this out.

I'm truly in Awe.

Friday, February 27, 2009

History Repeating

So last night, I accidentally disarmed the SNOOZE feature on my alarm clock (I did this by dropping it on the floor and then not noticing that it was turned off).

Why why why would you be able to do this? Who WOULDN'T want the Snooze feature armed?

Anyway, I have no photographic evidence of this, but I accidentally slept in until 9:10, with Zach curled up around my head.

A trip down memory lane into The Past tells me that if you replace Zach with Snoopy, I would have looked something like this, this morning.

God bless, Weekend.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Also? Zach Says Happy Ash Wednesday

"At Times They Even Talk Alike"

I had no idea what to blog about today due to a return of my Worker Bee Ennui, but the blogosphere has done my work for me.

Last night apparently our president made some address, and then some other man made a rebuttal. I'm pretty sure it's our old friend Kenneth The Page doing another spoof. We all remember the time Kenneth talked on this blog about kitty cats, let's see if these are indeed the same folks.

The Rebuttal:

And here's some funny Kenneth:

Separated at Birth?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

This Is Why I Am Fat With American Pride

What a fun blog this is! Allegedly it is why people are fat. I believe it is why America is the best place on earth. Where else can you get....

A hot dog in a French Fry Bun.

A bacon-wrapped taco.

A donut with Bacon Sprinkles.

A kajillion-stuffed Oreo! Who has the time? The Know-How? The Ingenuity? America!

Mmmm...Krispy Kreme Cheeseburgers.

There's more, but really, that's probably enough. God Bless. Time for my Kashi Go Lean Crunch cereal with rice milk!

Monday, February 23, 2009

A Rather Confusing Day

So on Saturday, Amber and I watched On Moonlight Bay, a rather non-sensical Doris Day musical set in 1918. We didn't understand it one bit.

At first, it seemed to be about a tomboy who gets spanked by her next door neighbor for shooting him with a gun. But then, she quickly becomes a lady and falls for him, then we realize he is a Communist and her father doesn't like him. Then, he signs up for The War.

I still don't get it. The box sure didn't prepare us, nor did Amber's $80k Film Degree.

Here's a sequence we particularly liked. Doris' little brother goes to the movies and sees this anti-booze propaganda film. Of course, after this he starts a rumor in town that his own dad beats the family, but somehow that's OK.

Anyway, thanks Doris.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Race To Dreamy Mountain


I want to go to there.

If anyone in the 21st Century is worthy of picking up Bette Davis' mantle as the adult in this franchise, it's my beau. I will be first in line at this 11am, half-price matinee. March 13th, Save The Date!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Sorry, Old People

Remember Rabbit Ears? And turning the dial for UHF and VHF?

Hee hee. Sorry, old lady.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Foreigners Watch The Darndest Things

My dear friend Jesse blogged about this already, but in the spirit of all things Internet I am now doing same.

This site here collects all these movie posters that foreigners made. I blogged a while ago about how foreigners like to re-title our movies with goofy names, but I sure didn't have this much physical evidence.

My recollection of Bullitt was a confusing, non-consequential plot, fast car chases and Steve McQueen's icey stare. I don't remember this horrifying German zombie.

How is this Weekend At Bernies? No, really, explain it to me.

Hee hee. Planet Of The Apes was not REALLY a planet made of an ape.

I'm pretty sure I would remember this scene from its sequel, Escape From The Planet of The Apes.

My memory of Alien was scary enough before I saw this poster.

My memory of Faye Dunaway in Chinatown was scary enough without this image of her getting a sword up the nose.
Muppets! Muppets! ANIMAL!

Thanks for the fun times, Internet!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Murder, She Ran

If anyone asks me why I like Murder, She Wrote so much, I give this short clip as my answer.

Friday, February 13, 2009

The Best Kitten Audiobook Ever

Oh my F'ing Everything.

I know, two kitten posts, two days in the row. But really? In terms of enjoyment per second, this is better than Buffy.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

A Tale of Two Cuties

Oops, I overslept again. And I need to be at work in minutes to let in all my foreigner buddies visiting this week.

And yet, I can't tear myself away from the cute cat websites.

I love cats who love watermelons, and certainly cats who love bacon.

Oh, and Happy Birthday, Mr. Darwin. Thanks for the evolutionary memories.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Sands Of Time To Kill

I was very happy to discover this website here. It's super basic, and at first I thought maybe even dull, but then I discovered how soothing it is. And it's a lovely way to pass the time on long conference calls talking about BOOKS.

Here's my creation, give it a shot yourself:

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Comics, Cons, & Good Times

If you were looking for me on Saturday, you could have found me at the Javits Center, at...COMIC CON. Comic Con used to have a "nerds & trekkies" stigma, but now it's super cool to go, and it makes you nifty.

Here are some of the friends I met along the way.

I saw this cool toy of Hawkgirl, perhaps my favorite member of the Justice League:

I met this Cylon buddy, who is in this new program called "Battlestar Fantastico" which I just discovered and am teaching Amber all about.

I saw this Albino Batman, which reminded me of the Albino Alligator that Sarah I and saw in San Francisco.

This toy was perhaps my favorite. They didn't have a doll for Six Million Dollar Man, but they did for Six Million Dollar Man's Boss. How disappointed would you have been in 1978 to find this under the Christmas tree?

My favorite part? Well, it might be meeting this person, whom I was only 80% sure was a drag queen. She was in a weird space suit with a fish tank on her head, and had a long line of people waiting to meet her. Maybe she's famous? I dunno, but it was nice times anyway.

Thanks for the memories, Comic Con!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Ladies & Gentlemen, Miss Blossom Dearie

I am very sad to report that Miss Blossom Dearie passed away over the weekend. She was 82, and while she was most active in the 1950s and early 60s, she was still performing up until just a few years ago at Danny's Skylight Room on 46th Street, just behind my house.

I was lucky enough to see her perform three times between 1999 and 2006, and each time she was a magnificent treat. She'd do my favorites, "Peel Me A Grape" and "I'm Hip" and "Thou Swell," plus her dog Princess's favorite, "Surrey With The Fringe On Top."

We weren't allowed to use the flash for the picture above because it would have hurt her eyes, but that's OK, it was still exciting to meet her.

Here's her rendition of "I Won't Dance."

Thanks for the memories, Blossom.

Friday, February 6, 2009

I Want A New Attitudes

I stumbled onto a YouTube treasure trove recently, as I searched for Shelley Winters' interviews.

I can't believe I forgot about Attitudes, the late 80s talk show hosted by Linda Dano & Nancy Glass on Lifetime: Television For Women. I would have thought I'd remember the SNL spoofs with Jan Hooks & Nora Dunn better than the show itself, but when I watch these clips, I'm flabberghasted that this isn't a parody in itself.

Please, for the love of all things feline and/or holy, watch a few minutes of this. Everything about it is just so bizarre and compelling, even before one gets to the guest stars (Dr. Joy Behar! Miss Shelley Winters!). The opening credits, the banter, the discussion of popped corn - I can't even explain. You simply have to watch, or never know me at all as a person.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Deads Ringer!

Boy howdy. Yesterday at work I sure was a Crankypants, with hatred in my soul for everyone. Well, almost everyone. But still, too much hatred to blog even!

Today though, I'm determined to be in a good mood. Why?

Well, because this very evening I have two good chums coming over for Bette Davis Club. We're going to watch one of my favorites, Dead Ringers (1964), starring Bette Davis and Bette Davis. I *love* Bette Davis movies where she plays twins - there's just twice as much of her to enjoy! I might like A Stolen Life (1946), also starring Bette Davis and Bette Davis, even more than this one, but this one is out on DVD so it wins. In both cases, things don't turn out so good for one of the twins.

Some buddy over on Amber's favorite website,, even does Dead Ringer related crafts!

Here's a sneak peak of tonight's showing!

Bette Davis is a dead ringer for...Bette Davis! Fun times ahead!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

CRD & Poo Teens

Oh hai. It's me ALH. I iz guest blogging in your Internals Plural.

CRD is, I hope, wrapping up his adventurous journey to the Canadian Book Fair. I hope he used the $1 I gave him to buy some good reading and didn't waste it on a kazoo or save it to buy a grape soda at Royal Pizza on the walk home. From Canada.

While visiting the country to our north, I hope CRD has had some opportunities to sample the local cuisine. Canada has some really delicious native fair-- from the "Piment Infernal: Sweet Chili Heat" Brand Doritos aforementioned, to Canadian "bacon" which is Canadian for "ham," to Poutine, the National Dish of Canada.

For those of you not familiar, poutine is like gravy fries mixed with the National Dish of Wisconsin: cheese curd. All of the major food groups are represented in this one perfect Canadian food: meat (gravy), dairy (curd), vegetables (fries), warm (served hot).

I asked CRD to bring me back some poutine. I hope he knows what poutine is and doesn't confuse it with that other poo**ng word that means something different.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Cool Ranch Canada

What happens today? Well, the plan is to go to work, talk about books a bit, then get on an airplane and go to Canada to talk about books some more!

Why do I like Canada so much? Largely because of the cuisine - faithful readers of this site might recall the time I sampled peameal bacon last summer, revisited in photographic form to the right here.

When I was there a few months ago I discovered "Piment Infernal: Sweet Chili Heat" Brand Doritos. Yum! Only a few weeks ago someone found my blog by googling "Doritos: Canada" (presumably not the same people who googled variations on 'amish pitchfork" last week).

I used to love Doritos more than anything. When I was wee, on Saturday nights my parents would go out and I would have a dinner of one (1) bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and one (1) liter of grape soda, drank from a wine glass. I'd watch Empty Nest, The Golden Girls, and then kill time during Sisters until Saturday Night Live came on. Those were the days.

Anyway, back to Canadians & their Doritos. Why do they love them so much? Why do they invent their own Canadian flavors? I have no idea, any more than I really understand this Canadian Doritos ad:

I'll see if I can't do some research upon landing. Enjoy America while I'm gone!