Happy Japanese Holidays!

Know what's not actually helpful?

The descriptive brochure that comes with sweets from Japan that my colleague brought me.

Oh well.

The Japanese Google The Darndest Things

Some mornings, I choose to reflect on the what's and why's of the Internet.

For instance, a few months back I posted what I thought was a rather innocuous post to celebrate my friend Jesse's birthday.

Lo and behold, it's received the most comments of anything I've ever done.

The comments are all more or less like this
And of course if you click on the poster's name, you get taken to a Japanese Porn website.

I get one or two new comments a day from these folks. Are they googling each other's Japanese words and then landing here? Or are they all googling the same keywords from my post, which to me don't say anything about Japanese porn?

The Internet, and Foreigners. Full of mystery. And probably, peas and vinegar.

Awards of Excellence, Japan-Style

Japan has some crazypants architecture.

There's this building here, which looks a lot like the birdhouse in my soul:

Also this one:
And this one, though it looks a little fake to me:


But? There's a new one opening this autumn, where you can buy purses and sweaters:


And the architectors just won an award!

I love Awards of Excellence. Congratulations, Excellenters!

Seriously Japan - WTF?

Kittens Are A Place On Earth

One thing Evan and I like to do is go see Sandra Bernhard where she is an incidental guest at an event.

In honor of this theme, last week we went on an excursion all the way to the UES to see Ms. Bernhard interview Belinda Carlisle at a B&N, in honor of her newly published memoir, Lips Unsealed (great title).

However, not being megafans, we didn't line up at 8am that morning to buy copies of the book to get wristbands so we could sit inside the little theatre and watch the event. Instead, we sat outside on the ground in front of the Sci Fi / Fantasy section and watched it over the shoulder of some really testy queens on closed circuit TV. Whatevs.

Anyway, the real highlight was not Belinda nor Sandra. It was when we got back to my place and helped Zach put on his Sirotan disguise.

He knew it was a game so he pretended to struggle a bit.

He's such a kidder.
In the end, he was extra handsome.


So in conclusion, Friendship is great. It can be interviewing your old pal at a UES B&N about her new memoir and 30 year (THIRTY YEAR!) cocaine addiction, or it can be helping a wee little friend into his dolphin costume. God Bless, Friendship.

The Id(l)es Of March

Search Engine Review Time!

I've been a bit lazy at reporting on the analytics that bring folks here. Oh well.

In March 2010, 10 people found us on the web by googling some version of "Shamrock Shake Finder." Here's how to make your own until next March:

Another 22 people googled to find out the various different ways of pluralizing things, including the following terms:

• plural of egg [an evergreen, I'm not sure why]
  
• what is the plural of breakfast
  
• interesting plural
  
• kiwi plural
  
• plural amazing


• plural for doris
  
• plural of "child actor"?
  
• plural of fanny [I guess this makes sense, is it y or ie, but still I wonder if they're going to write about multiple American fannies or British ones? What would you do wtih more than one of either?]
• plural who


• town plural
  
• what is a plural for "amazing"?


• what is the plural of ice cream


• can my favourite thing be plural [confidential to this person: the answer is yes]
  

Another 15 people were googling "Sirotan." Here's something for you folks!:

Eight people googled "poo." I have nothing for you.

Six of you googled "Raquel Welch." In honor of this, I have ordered a copy of her new memoir, It's Not About The Cleavage, for Shorty to read & report back on.

Another four googled "Barb Jungr," I can tell you folks I'm excited to see her next month at the Metropolitan Room. Come along with me!

And then some other oddballs:

• christopher walken natalie wood
  
• sepia town
  
• obama curlicue signature
  
• japanese sitcom
  
• grace jones
  
• teaching montgomery clift how to throw a punch
  
• ides of march snacks [I guess someone was planning a fancy party]
  
• doris day birthday

I did a google on the Monty Clift one, I guess Howard Hawks taught him how to do that for Red River.

Anyway, that's March. Cheerio!

Turning Japanese-y

Here are some fun things I learned about Japan.

Their McDonalds' commercials are SPOOKY.



Their whales eat giant squid:

And finally, for now, here's my new favorite Japanese sitcom.

I can't wait for the American remake starring Joey from Friends.

God Bless, America. And also God Bless Japan.

The Japanese Eat The Darndest Things

Really, Japan?

According to this here article, there are 19 different Kit Kat flavors in Japan.

This one here is kind autumnal. I was never one of those people who liked the pumpkin-spiced latte at Starbucks, but if I did I'd get the Pumpkin Kit Kats for dunking.

Mmm, Pineapple. Don't eat this one, Amber!

I love Watermelon.
Mmmm, Corn. BARF
This one makes my teeth hurt just thinking about it.
This one at least makes sense. Green Tea!
Anyway, The End. I know someone in Japan right now, I look forward to getting all 19 flavors as my souvenir.

The Japanese The Price Is Right?

I'm not clear if this is a game show or a sitcom, but I know it involves Monkeys and Cake.

Foreigners. Maybe it's all one big Haldeman reference?

Sirotan!

During my long stay in Tokyo back in May, I learned a lot about Japanese Culture. Rumors abounded that there was soup in the vending machines, but I never saw that. There was a fun store at the airport though called "Mother Garden." That's where I discovered Sirotan.

When I came back to America, I found a picture of Sirotan on this blog here.

Sirotan is, near as I can figure, a cat-seal that wears different disguises. Why he has a cat face and a seal body, I have no idea. The cutest iteration of Sirotan that I found sure was this one where he pretends to be a turtle. Why pretend to be a turtle? Why not pretend to be a turtle!


I knew then and there that this was a little buddy that my little buddy, Zach, could appreciate. And so I whipped out my corporate card (ウェブ全体から検索 looks like it could say "Grande Latte," right?) and snatched him up.

And at the end of the day, Z sure loves his new friend. God Bless, Sirotan!

Homing Parrot

Yosuke sure is one smart parrot.

I'm wondering if Zach can learn his name & address.

Lost parrot returned to owners after reciting name, address
Associated Press
May 21, 2008 at 5:14 AM EDT
TOKYO — When Yosuke the parrot flew out of his cage and got lost, he did exactly what he had been taught — recite his name and address to a stranger willing to help.

Police rescued the African grey parrot two weeks ago from a neighbour's roof in the city of Nagareyama, near Tokyo. After spending a night at the station, he was transferred to a nearby veterinary hospital while police searched for clues, local policeman Shinjiro Uemura said.

He kept mum with the cops, but began chatting after a few days with the vet.
“I'm Mr. Yosuke Nakamura,” the bird told the veterinarian, according to Mr. Uemura. The parrot also provided his full home address, down to the street number, and even entertained the hospital staff by singing songs.

We checked the address, and what do you know, a Nakamura family really lived there. So we told them we've found Yosuke,” Mr. Uemura said.

The Nakamura family told police they had been teaching the bird its name and address for about two years.

But Yosuke apparently wasn't keen on opening up to police officials.

“I tried to be friendly and talked to him, but he completely ignored me,” Mr. Uemura said.

Japan, Air

You might think it would be confusing to fly JapanAir, what with not speaking Japanese and all.

Fortunately they had these helpful diagrams in the loo, so us English people knew enough to close the door to have some light if we wanted to put our little penguin bottoms on the commode!


Science!

Maneki Zach-o

Well, when the mail came yesterday I found out what Zach had been up to!

Turns out, he's been investigating Quarantine of Dogs and Cats for Japan. At least, that's near as I can figure from this brochure that arrived.
This little kitty cat and big tongue puppy have arrows from them going into Japan, anyway.
How excited is this puppy to be all packed up, going to Japan! And the number 12!
But yet, at the end, the kitty cat seems to have all the good news (and the number 12), and the dog seems to be all boo hoo with tears.

I think it's best for all if Zach just stays in the sunshine with his luggage and forgets about those far off lands.