Friendship, Meat, & Balls

So the other day I was at work, doing what I always do, which is write books all day and think about them.

On this particular day, I was writing a book about MEATBALLS. If there's one thing I like, it's meatballs. And puns, especially puns about balls. Who else likes puns? Evan!

So, I got on the horn to him and we made some plans. Cookery! With Balls!

First, we got all the ingredients. We were going to make lamb balls, but I guess all the little baby lambs that day got to grow up to be sweaters, and instead we got cow meat.

Here's all the ingredients, including the wine and Evan's left hand:


First thing you do, you mix up the meat and the ingredients to make the balls.


Mix mix mix!

Action shot:
Aeriel shot!

Sometimes maybe it is tempting to eat the one giant ball, but it is ill-advised.

Temperance won out, and Evan made lots of little balls for eating:

Then we packed 'em all up! Nice and snug, balls in a rug.

Oh! And special homemade pisketti sauce, from that place.

Extra prancing, that's what makes it taste so good.

In conclusion: balls!

Happiness.

Friendship.

Stilettoes, Broken Bottles, Winters, Reynolds

So last night Robyn & Kelis ruled my world. They are without a doubt, the Grace Jones of 2010.

I was trying real hard to think of an accurate comparison though for those pals of mine who might be curmudgeons, or otherwise aren't familiar with two of the greatest pop singers of this summer.

Basically, not since Shelley Winters & Debbie Reynolds shared the silver screen in What's The Matter With Helen, has there been such a miraculous, Y-chromosome-free, pairing.

To wit, 1971:

2010:


Here's a bit more of the older broads.




Had Sandra Bernhard popped out like she usually does when Evan and I go to concerts together? Well, clearly we'd have our Agnes Moorehead.

God Bless, America. And Sweden, and Shelley Winters.

Kittens Are A Place On Earth

One thing Evan and I like to do is go see Sandra Bernhard where she is an incidental guest at an event.

In honor of this theme, last week we went on an excursion all the way to the UES to see Ms. Bernhard interview Belinda Carlisle at a B&N, in honor of her newly published memoir, Lips Unsealed (great title).

However, not being megafans, we didn't line up at 8am that morning to buy copies of the book to get wristbands so we could sit inside the little theatre and watch the event. Instead, we sat outside on the ground in front of the Sci Fi / Fantasy section and watched it over the shoulder of some really testy queens on closed circuit TV. Whatevs.

Anyway, the real highlight was not Belinda nor Sandra. It was when we got back to my place and helped Zach put on his Sirotan disguise.

He knew it was a game so he pretended to struggle a bit.

He's such a kidder.
In the end, he was extra handsome.


So in conclusion, Friendship is great. It can be interviewing your old pal at a UES B&N about her new memoir and 30 year (THIRTY YEAR!) cocaine addiction, or it can be helping a wee little friend into his dolphin costume. God Bless, Friendship.

Scissor Sisterhood of the Traveling Salvation Show

So one thing I like to do often is see Miss Sandra Bernhard.

Sometimes it's at a Doctors Without Borders fundraiser for Tsunami relief, where she shares a stage with Cyndi Lauper and Nancy Sinatra and does a kick-bum version of "Madman Across The Water." Sometimes it's her one-man show, on New Year's Eve @ Joe's Pub, or in San Francisco with Sarah, where we get such giggles during her child abduction riff that we almost have to leave the show.

Sometimes it's when she pops up unexpectedly, like at a Lea Delaria holiday concert when she sings "River" so beautifully. And sometimes it's at a Scissor Sisters concert, where she busts out for "T1ts on The Radio" and I bust a grin until my face cracks.

Evan and I celebrated St. Patrick's Day by checking out their show at Bowery Ballroom.

I snapped this so-so pic with my so-called smart phone:

And some buddy posted this video clip on the internets - the sound is terrible but if you put it on mute you can enjoy the exuberance.



And here, for the win, Miss Sandra Bernhard with Winger performing Heart's "Alone."



God Bless America.