A Month of Gwendolyn, Ernest, & Boobs

So I was looking at what brought people here accidentally in January 2012. In addition to the usual hunts for Nureyev (I can't really be one of the top sites), sirotan, Tab Hunter, and ashera cats, there were some other bits and bobs.
Over 30 people googled either "Jennifer Runyon" or "Gwendolyn Pierce" or some variant. People sure love her. No way to tell if they were looking for her from the first version of Charles In Charge or the reboot.

Who was looking for "Amish Borgnine"? I sure hope you found this post, which combines both of these stars of screen.

Speaking of combining stars of screen, watch, out Lee Marvin:


A lot of people sure are looking for the boobs of the great dames I write about. Specifically:

• grace jones breasts disney pics
• kate bush boobs
• katherine helmond breasts
• liza minnelli boobs
• mary tyler moore tits
• stevie nicks bare breasts
• tuesday weld boobs

Sorry bros, can't help you.

and also some random boobs searches:

• large boobs wetsuit
• boobs crochet pattern

I wonder if you could crochet a wet suit for large boobs. Or maybe make one for one of the afore-mentioned dames. Internet.

Oh, and someone googled this:

• barbara eden five weeks in a balloon movie photos

Um, which lead me to this:

I had no idea. It's one of those all-star (defined broadly) cast romps popular at the time, I guess, like It's A Mad, Mad, Mad World or Poseidon Adventure. What? Five weeks in a balloon with Barbara Eden and Red Skelton. I guess.

Anyway, Happy Feb. The End.

Some Days I Just Play on Google Image Search

Bears AND Boobs.
A dame and a pistol, WITH a pistol.
(remember how great this song is?

The Two And Only

I have to admit, I had no idea Jane Russell was still alive. But, she was, and until yesterday was 89 years young. She died too late to make the Oscar R.I.P. list, but at least she didn't get skipped, poor Corey Haim.
Anyway, I only really knew her from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, which is certainly a fun romp. Thanks to jet lag, I woke up at 4am today so I've had plenty of time to do research.

The duet with her & Marilyn is fantastic, but for fun here's "Ain't There Anyone Here For Love," her solo number where the boys are wearing skin colored trunks (we'd now call that peach). Hollywood sure was racy back then.



Furthermore, I hadn't heard the story of how Howard Hughes claimed to have created a special "cantilever bra" to hold up her 38D rack. I mean, I had only learned the word "cantilever" last year, so maybe I had heard this but didn't know what it meant.

I had heard the Bob Hope quip though, he once introduced her as "the two and only Jane Russell." Boobs!

I had no idea there was a sequel to Blondes: Gentlemen Marry Brunettes. Yikes. And really, she guest-starred on Hunter? I bet she played Dee Dee's mom.

More importantly, I had NO idea that in 1971 she took over for Stritchy in Company. I kinda wish there was a youtube of her doing "The Ladies Who Lunch" with those bathing suit boys in the background.

In conclusion, here she is doing "Looking for Trouble" from The French Line. Ladies and Gentlemen, here they are, Miss Jane Russell:

Doing Right Woman

I was sorry to hear that Aretha Franklin has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

However, if anyone is going to live forever, it's her. If this weird montage of her PBS appearances can teach us anything, it's that true divas know no boundaries.

There Ain't No Underwear In Space

No Underwear in Space

I mean, maybe I want HBO now. Is this the sort of thing that girl from the Harry Potter movies will be doing in 30 years?

Seriously Japan - WTF?

Amber Alert!

Do you know who has a birthday today?

That's right! Ivan The Terrible!

Know who else? Hint: she has one thumb and a margarita.



That's right! AMBER.

Amber and I met back in 1996. However, the earliest digital evidence I have of our friendship is this photo here, taken (I think) in 2003. We seem to be in Grant's office and I am just noticing now that it looks like the cast of Six Feet Under is cascading out of my head, Russian Doll Style.


Back in those days, Amber and I would have many adventures together, like when we went to the "Museum" for "Culture."

But then on MY birthday one year Amber thought it would be fun to move out of town. She went to work at this store. I'm not sure what they did, but it was definitely a storefront. I think she was like a Walmart greeter, waving to passersby so they'd come in and sample the wares.

Then, she moved to a DIFFERENT city. I visited her there once or twice, but all she did was pass out on the couch with the kitty ears on. Whatever, Friendship.

BUT, now she's back, and we get to have Fun Times again, like at Awesome Club or Vegetable Club or Wedding Club or Birthday Fancy Feast Club. Sometimes, she embarrasses herself, but usually we're good.

I made this handy graph using Excel, one of the touchstones of our Friendship, to show our friendship using Science.

Here's hoping she stays put this time!

Happy Birthday, Buddy!

iPhone Auto Correct FAIL

So I am wicked Pissarro excited to go to Charleston in a few hours to stay with David this weekend! You can tell Apple is not based in Boston. Who doesn't know the word "Pissa?"

OMB it is gonna be MINT!

Also? Common Cement

This is for all you folks working today who want to watch programs.



And also for Amber, who looooooooooooves Ellen.

9 to 5, Five By Five By Me

So the reviews came out for 9 to 5 The Musical today, and the Times at least was not so kind. But you know who has two thumbs and doesn't care? This guy!

If you're wondering where I am on May 20th, you can know now that I'm in orchestra seats.

I've loved Miss Dolly Parton since I was a wee lad, which is probably no surprise to anyone. Every now and then people send me Dolly-related links, like Kevin did recently about another one of Dolly's gay rumors, this one tied in to her being both gay AND Hannah Montana's aunt. Storms comin', indeed.

If you want to know my Root Story, you could ask my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Munter. It was the year the movie came out, and the song was everywhere, most especially on my record (yes, record) player. I asked Mrs. M what "ambition" was, and she gave me a suitable definition, but I insisted she was wrong. As anyone knew, it was something you pour into a cup after you tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen.



Anyway, New York mag ran a great interview with Miss Dolly. Here's some of my favorite lines:

The oddest thing I can think to ask is whether, with new deals in merchandising, real estate, touring, and recording all in development, she’ll ever say it’s enough.

“Never!” she answers. “I want to be like one of those little fainting goats that get scared and then just fall over. I want to go and go and then drop dead in the middle of something I’m loving to do. And if that doesn’t happen, if I wind up sitting in a wheelchair, at least I’ll have my high heels on.

And on her face:

“I’m a proud person. I’m not vain. I look at it like it is. If you’ve got the money and you’re going to be out there, you owe it to people not to look like a dog if you can help it."

And this, which I think I get:

“If I have one more face-lift,” she likes to say, “I’ll have a beard.”

Here's a musical montage to get yer excitement up.


See you on the 20th, gals!

Good Birthday Come In Threes

Who knew such great Dames of America shared the same birthday?

Three ladies I like heaps are all blowing out candles today.

The eldest on our list is Miss Katharine Ross. I like her mostly because she's so pretty, but I also enjoyed her very much in The Graduate and The Stepford Wives (the original movie, not the one I saw in the theatre simply to enjoy the A/C, later to realize standing outside and melting might have been preferable.

Next up is Miss Bettye LaVette. LaVette is an old school R&B musician who had some minor hits in the early 70s, then languished for far too long. In the mid-aughts she came out with I've Got My Own Hell To Raise, followed quickly by Scene Of The Crime. These two albums blow me away - she's R&B, country, rock, everything. On the albums she covers Aimee Mann, Bruce Springsteen, Dolly Parton, Elton John, Joan Armatrading (woohoo!), Lucinda Williams, Rosanne Cash, Willie Nelson, and more. Her versions are so unique and in cases wrenching, that even if they don't surpass the originals in my mind, they stand firmly on their own. She recently did a kick-bum version of "A Change Is Gonna Come" with Bon Jovi at an inauguration event, available on the YouTube.

Here though we're going to see her do a Fiona Apple song medley'd into Sinead O'Connor. God Bless America.



And finally, cheers to Miss Ann Jillian. We know her from Kevin's third favorite sitcom, It's A Living, and as the star of the made-for-TV Mae West bio. I liked her best in Jennifer Slept Here, a comedy that ran for one season in 1983. She played the ghost of a famous actress who haunted her old house, currently occupied by a family with a teenage son, whom I swore was Jason Bateman but apparently wasn't. Georgette from the Mary Tyler Moore show had a nice part too.

Here's the opening credits to Jennifer Slept Here.



Happy Birthday, Ladies!

O Canada

Today I am off to the land of Maple Leaves & Butter Tarts. When I'm back, nobody knows - except American Airlines, who are expecting me on an afternoon flight on Monday.

Some of my favorite Canadian things, you ask?

Well, I've always loved Anne Murray. Her soothing Lite FM sounds have gotten me through many a long drive with only a rental car radio to amuse me. Bryan Adams? Natch. And Sir Leonard Cohen, of course.

And yet, from You Can't Do That On Television to post-teenage angst, Alanis Morissette has always been around. We're only a few months apart in age, so even though sometimes she's easy to make fun of & is certainly overwrought, I have a special fondness for her.

Anyway, she can take a goof, and here she is having some fun with that song about lovely lady lumps.

Moving Her Hovels

Today is one of those Days Of Awesomeness that we all look forward to in our lives, because Amber is moving her rump back to NYC.

All I know is I have a queue full of programs for watching, and we're going to get down to business. Every day is Awesome Club hence forth.

Burgers I Have Loved

I have been lucky in my life in that I have had some wonderful burgers.
I had this bad boy, which comes with foie gras, with Doug one Superbowl Sunday at the db Bistro in the City Club Hotel in midtown. It was the same Superbowl with Scandal Boobs.


I had this one in Napa at Taylor's Refreshers with Sarah. Bleu Cheese! Bacon! Onion Ring!

Burgers are one of those things that makes life good.

Have you had a good burger? Send in pics!

R.I.P. Ruth Wallis (1920-2007)

On Christmas Eve Eve, Ruth Wallis went up to heaven.

I didn't know that much about her, so thankfully the New York Times filled in a few blanks with their obituary.

Ruth was a cabaret singer-songwriter known for her risque (i.e. dirty) lyrics. She sang about the gays, and sex, and men who can't get it up, and other fun things. Many of her songs were filled with double entendres, like "His Little Dinghy."

Maybe my favorite song by her is Boobs. It's more of a single entendre song, but that's OK. Click on the link below to give it a go.

God Bless Boobs, and Ruth Wallis. Rest in Peace, Ruth!