Friendship, Unlikely Style

Sometimes this week we think about what it would be like if had never met some of our BFFs.

Here's some other BFFs, out in the wild. This is on top of the tale Amber told yesterday.

This one has a dummy foreign narrator (and a 5 second ad the beginning), but otherwise is cute, and allows me to use my Otters tag.



I love Orca!, starring Charlotte Rampling, in which the titular killer whale burns down a seaside town, that they forgot to bomb, bomb bomb. In other news, this Orca likes pooches.


I wonder if this only happens in Canada?

Here's one that doesn't have a happy ending (hee hee):


Right in the Peppercorns!

And For The Win? Here's Raquel Welch, star of Myra Breckinridge, & Miss Piggy covering Miss Peggy Lee. God Bless, America.

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octpus vs. Raquel Welch

So recently at an Awesome Club we watched this classic movie:


I don't want to give *SPOILERS*, but it is about a mega shark who is versus a giant octopus. Sarah and I actually watched an hour or so of this on the Cape last summer during one of our rainy days. I am pleased to say that now that I've gone back and seen the beginning, it doesn't make any more sense than it did the first time. Not that it wasn't enjoyable.

I will tell you, I thought this was the most ridiculous thing I could ever see (watch out, someone says S-word):



But then he ate the Golden Gate Bridge:



But then? But then we watched this on Netflix Watch This Now Instantly. Stick around for the Space Alien Tango after about three minutes:


And to think, I thought Myra Breckinridge would be Raquel Welch's freakiest moment.

In Conclusion, God Bless you, Television. You complete me.

In Her Very Own Loaf Pan

So on our way in to see Barb Jungr, Jazz Chanteuse, at the Cafe Carlyle, we got to see Elaine Stritch AGAIN. This time she was finishing up her dessert at her table from the early show. She didn't so much perform as just pick at some fruit on her plate, but it was still a delight.


Anyway, this is what Rex Reed, star of Myra Breckinridge, had to say about Stritchy recently in his New York Observer column:

Most of today’s singers emerge like raw dough, desperate to be kneaded into some recognizable shape. Ms. Stritch arrives fully baked in her own loaf pan. There is nobody quite like her and never will be.

God Bless, everyone.

Bloody Winters!

Wow. Wanna be really, really uncomfortable? Have some friends over for Awesome Club Movie Night and watch Bloody Mama, Roger Corman's 1970 exploitation movie starring two-time Academy Award Winner Miss Shelley Winters as Ma Barker. It's like Myra Breckinridge, only much much worse.
The horrors start in the first five minutes. We see a young Shelley being brutalized by her brothers and fathers (in X-Files meets Mackenzie Phillips fashion). In voiceover she swears she'll grow up and raise all boys, and have them do everything for her, her own army.
Flash foward and we're in the middle of the Great Depression, and she and her sons - including young Robert DeNiro - do exactly that. They drive across country robbing banks and killing people. In one scene, they rob a bank, take hostages, and have the hostages - old ladies - stand on the running board of the car as human shields. Inexplicably, the cops chase after them, shooting. Also inexplicably, they drive past a modern shopping mall, but no matter.

The best part of that scene is when they bust into the bank and the two-time Academy Award winner fires her machine gun and yells "everybody reach for the nightgown of the Lord!" I'm going to use that line as much as possible.

One of her sons gets caught and thrown in prison. In there, he gets R'd by his cell mate. Later, they break out together and become boyfriends. Later still, after Shelley has slept with all of her sons, she sleeps with this son's boyfriend. Oh, and that's Bruce Dern.

Eventually, there's a big bloody shoot-out. Sometime before that, smack-addicted Robert DeNiro picks up a girl that Shelley eventually drowns in a tub. Here's one of the more light hearted scenes, where she consoles him and all her sons by leading a rousing rendition of the World War 1 peace song, "I Didn't Raise My Boy To Be A Soldier." I'm not kidding.



God Bless you, Shelley Winters. And God Help Us All.

Two Shots Of Happy

Raquel Welch said that her scene with Mae West in Myra Breckinridge, with Farrah Fawcett in the background, was a "gay man's wet dream fantasy." Well, I don't know if that's true.

In any event, I think this little clip might come closer. I mean really - Cher, Tina Turner, & Spangles. God Bless, America.

That Catered Affair

Last week I was using Google Image to find a cast picture of A Catered Affair, the new show on Broadway featuring Tony nominee John Schneider, and this little thing popped up - The Catered Affair. What a difference a definite article makes! A quick trip down the knuckerhole of Wikipedia (Nicholson Baker would be so proud!) gave me the 411.

In 1956 Sir Gore Vidal adapted the Paddy Chayefsky TV movie (which starred the original Wanda Sykes, Miss Thelma Ritter!) for the silver screen. This was almost three decades before his bestseller Myra Breckinridge was made into a film - and at least six decades before it makes sense. The plot? Academy Award winner Miss Bette Davis is married to Academy Award winner Mr. Ernest Borgnine - she's a hausfrau, he's a cab driver! They live in the Bronx and calamity ensues when they have only a weekend to plan the fancypants wedding for their daughter, Academy Award nominee Debbie Reynolds.

I am going to start a petition on Amazon so that this, my new favorite movie, will be released on DVD.

I should have known after he starred in Grand Hotel, The Musical! that John Schneider only trod the boards in shows with rich source material. Long live the Dukes!

2 Hot 2 Handle

And they say the Golden Girls were racy. Blanche Deveraux, eat your heart out.



I don't care what Raquel Welch says, this dame is pretty great.

The Movie That Shouldn't Be Viewed

This movie made Amber so mad she almost spit on my floor. Gore Vidal said it was the 2nd worst movie he had ever seen. Raquel Welch said Mae West looks like a dockworker in drag.

I dunno. The box said it was 30 years ahead of its time. I think it might need to percolate another thirty.