You Say Catsup I Say Throwsup

Really, Heinz? Really, Canada?

To commemorate its Canadian centennial and thank Canadians for 100 years of support, Heinz has created The Great Canadian Heinz Ketchup Cake -- an ideal dessert for any celebration. It's red, perfectly spiced and delicious. Think carrot cake without all the work.

In case you're a jerk, here's the recipe.

9 to 5, 5 Years Running

So, I work for a large corporation, which is part of a larger corporation. Let's call it Scheinhart Wigs.

Anyway, it's 2009 Q1, so when my boss said to me "I've got something for you" and handed me a big envelope, I panicked and fainted. Not really, but I could have.

I did though feel like fainting when I realized that instead of a Laid Off Employees Guide To Crummy Benefits, it was my Five Year Anniversary Certificate. Where did the time go? I proudly displayed it on my shelf next to a stuffed sheep I once found.

This package also came with a gift catalog, which I get to go through and can choose one (1) item.

Any suggestions? I've been told the alarm clock doesn't work. I'm not sure what I would do with matching griddles, or a demitasse set. I have two flower vases already; they're filled with corks.


The food chopper? The pretty bowl?

Also? Eyes, Tigers

I mean, why not?

227 in 5

THIS is fantastic.

It's the 227 pilot episode boiled down to 5 minutes. There's more of these "Minisodes" here.




"The way you and Sandra get along, you won't even have a canoe!"

I mean, really, who has 22 minutes free anymore? And how many full eps of My Two Dads are worth the time?

An Arthur-ian Legend

Bea, I thought you'd outlive us all.

In case you somehow missed it from people Facebook twittering, or you know, the NEWS, we lost another Golden Girl this weekend. Really, what's left to say besides "Aw Crap" ?

I've blogged about Miss Bea Arthur before. On Angela Lansbury's birthday I showed the clip of the two of them singin' & dancin'. Once I posted the clip of her & Rock Hudson singing that song about drugs.

Well, on Saturday, Amber and I dedicated that night's Murder She Wrote to Bea. And this morning I have trolled the internets looking for some good clips to remember her by. Bea, these ones are for you!

Here's a writer from Golden Girls (Marc Cherry?) and Betty White talking about Bea's / the Golden Girls' Gay Appeal:



This clip is a little long, but it's a lovely bit from Golden Girls:



Here's her final TV performance, roasting Pamela Anderson. I actually posted it once before, and another time I blogged about Betty White at Shatner's roast. Still, I think it's worth repeating:



Rest in Peace, Bea. I'm sure Estelle Getty will be waiting on the other side of the River Jordan to welcome her little pussycat home.

Shirley, It's Your Birthday

Happy Birthday, Miss Shirley MacLaine! 75 years old!

It's no secret that three of my favorite things are named Shirley: Shirley MacLaine, Dame Shirley Bassey, and Two Time Academy Award Winner Shelley Winters (born Shirley Shrift, of course).

Amber once started a rumor that I did not like Shirley MacLaine, but I swiftly put a stop to that.

I got to meet her once too, which was a rather exciting day in my life.

Here she is with Leslie Caron, Little Edie Beale's favorite actress:


Here she is cutting a rug with Dino. Their banter reminds me of the Muppet Show dance scenes:


"Hey, put your feet where they belong." "If I did that, you wouldn't sit for a week."

And here she is with Miss Lucille Ball:


Ah, friendship. And red heads!

Friends-Ship

Yesterday was a stinker. It sure reminded me of the beauty of Friendship.

Sometimes Friendship means you go to your chum's house after work and she pours you the big share of the last beer.

Sometimes it means your old co-star comes to your new Broadway play. Stritchy Alert!


Sometimes it means you have someone to snuggle with at bed time.


And sometimes, Friendship is made up of real talent. Now THAT, is coffee. Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Peggy Lee.

These Arms Of Mine; or, Don't Swim In The Tank

I like being on email mailing lists. Largely because I get a sense of satisfaction by deleting them so efficiently from my Inbox each today.

Today I received this email from Criterion Collection.



My first thoughts were to forward it to David, because he loves Science. Then I thought about myself, because I really like Seahorses and Octopi. Then, I clicked on the link and saw an awesome video about octopi doing it. As hard as I look, I can't see where Isabella Rossellini's costume is stitched on. They won't let me embed it, but here's the link - worth viewing.

What I can embed is this awesome video from way back when. The narrative is a little High And Mighty (Sturm und Drang to you foreigners), but it's a pretty awesome spectacle. And a lesson about octopi from which we can all learn.

Past Posters Pique Pleasure in Present

Wow. I just discovered this website here, which is an online exhibition curated by the Library of Congress. It's all WPA posters from 1936 through 1943. You can search by keyword, or browse by subject matter. For quite a few of them you can download full size scans, so I guess you can print them out fancy-style in your home.

I searched for "shark" and got this one, which I suppoose is accurately tagged, though it's really more about pneumonia. Still, I like it.

I found this one about cutie penguins that Kevin might like. I can't tell if they're those gay ones that steal other penguin babies.

Here's a nice one of a hippo.

Here's the obligatory STD poster. There were LOTS of these, but this is the only one which indicated "invalidism" as a side-effect.

Who doesn't love goggles?

This one is for Diana. She likes pretty flowers.

This one is for all of us. Eating fruit also prevents invalidism.

Turns out there was indeed a movie with this name, starring Edward G. Robinson and Humphrey Bogart. Still, I giggle like a little perv.

This one is encouraging ladies to not formula-feed.

And finally, here's one about the foreigners. I don't get it, but most of my WW2 history is from movies.

I do suggest checking out the link. But only for when you have lots of time to kill.

À la recherche du temps perdu

So I felt a bit like the Beale Family when I started digging through all these old newspapers I had saved up over the years, as I slowly begin my Oprah-approved purging of clutter in my apartment.

Then? I found this ad Doug and I had done in 1996 (?) for a club in Boston. God bless us all.

L'Fanny Angelique

Seriously?

EVERYONE on Murder She Wrote has to say "Fanny" to Jessica Fletcher? In this case she's in a French Cafe with an old chum,

Do they not know what this means in Miss Lansbury's home country?

Funnies Business Down Under

Sometimes foreigners think they're funny, but they're not.

For example, Little Britain. I sure laughed a lot the first few episodes I saw of this program. However, the show went on for like ten years making the very same jokes again and again. See, Foreigners apparently enjoy seeing the same gag again and again, because then they know when to laugh at the jokes. Otherwise, they don't know what is a joke and what isn't.


The exceptions here are all from the Antipodes. Australia gave us Kath & Kim, and New Zealand gave us Flight Of The Conchords - both very funny programs, both with short enough life spans that we didn't get sick of them.

Australia now has also begat Summer Heights High, an eight episode series set in an Aussie High School. It features those staples of Foreigner Humor: Bad Drag, Mincing Gays, and Making Fun Of The Physically or Mentally Challenged.

Anyway, Amber and I sure like this show. Here's a peak at the Mr. G character, the Mincing Gay Drama Teacher.



We have found this program to be a delightful amuse bouche between episodes of Murder, She Wrote. I think Jessica would like it too.

All Day Long I Dream About...

Wait - this ISN'T gay PEE-OH-R-N?


Click on the image above to see the ad campaign. Note too the "watch again in Slo-Mo" feature.

Kittens! Now, with SCIENCE

My dear friend David was going to visit this weekend from Carolina, but then he couldn't because he had a Science Project.

Now, as I have previously proven, with the science of photography, David is a scientist. This means he goes to Science Fairs and presents posters on his latest findings. I asked David to send me an example of these posters, and I was amazed to discover that Science is SO much more interesting than I would have imagined. You can click on the poster below to make it bigger.


Good job with the poster, David. I'm so glad my original hypothesis has been proven so definitively!

Dames, Shirleys, & Not So Easy To Be Hard

So, like most people, there are a lot of similarities between some of my favorite things.

Sometimes it's obvious, like Bacon Cheeseburgers and Regular Cheeseburgers, or Orange Kitties and Black Kitties.


Sometimes it's not so obvious, like Dame Shirley Bassey and Two Time Academy Award Winner Shelley Winters (Who was of course, born a Shirley - Shirley Shrift).


Now, recently I went to see Hair on Broadway. I liked it enough, but I had never seen it before and so was kind of expecting the show to be more, um, better. It was definitely a spectacle though, and of course there was a nude bits, and overall I enjoyed myself.

The one downer for me was the version of "Easy To Be Hard." I'll admit, I didn't know that song was from Hair, I first learned it as a wee lad from my parents' Shirley Bassey 1970 record, Something.


This of course was followed up by Something Else one year later, but that's another tale.

Anyway, Something was Dame Shirley's comeback record (first of many), featuring her take on contemporary hits (first of many for that too). And really, it's unfair to judge the poor girl from Hair with trying to top Dame Shirl, but that's how it goes.

Anyway, this set me on a whole Dame Shirley festival on Saturday afternoon as I did laundry. And I realized, just like Shelley, sassy Miss Bassey can tend towards the melodramatic when not reeled in by her producers / directors. You want the full on Shirl when she's singing "Goldfinger" or "Diamonds are Forever," but sometimes she needs to reign it in a bit, or she ends up like Shelley on The Lucy Show.

Here she is putting a bit of irony into the title of this song, best known as performed by that other dame. Really, you just need to hear the first few lines to get my point.



Anyway, that's my Shirley Bassey story and I'm sticking to it.

Easter! Danger!

I received in the mail what seems to be a ransom letter. From this photograph it appears the Easter Bunny has kidnapped my nephew.

Anya was right.

First Class Cabin

Last night I watched Cabin In The Sky, a 1943 all-black musical starring Ethel Waters, "Rochester" Anderson, and Lena Horne. Turns out, it was a re-telling of Goethe's Faust (why do we always say "Goethe's Faust"? Who else's Faust would it be? Am I missing something? I took two years of German). The cast was terrific, and it had some great Harold Arlen songs - "Happiness Is A Thing Called Joe" and "Taking A Chance On Love" among them.


I really enjoyed it, and this morning as I was cleaning, Zach and I enjoyed listening to it with the commentary track on, which explained about how it was a product of its time, blah blah blah.


With and without commentary I was entranced by John W. Bubbles, who had a small but central part as the slickster Domino Jones. Bubbles was a vaudevillian, and apparently was the "father" of 'the rhythm tap' - which is basically using your heels more and doing it in the Jazz Style. He's the one who taught this style to Fred Astaire, according to the internet.

Anyway, here he is doing a fun number from last night's movie.



It was talented then, it is talented now.

This & That

This being Good Friday and all, I thought I could maybe take a break from watching Isabella Rossellini re-enact animal intercourse and check out some other stuff on the web.

This? Makes me laugh very hard. Like most things from the Onion, I feel no need to click through and read the article.


I'm on the search for a new bed which will allow me convenient under-bed storage, as I will likely be moving to a new home with less closet space. However, this option terrfies me. I'm not quite sure why. I think I might just be overwhelmed by all the activity.

And also, in the "That's What Accountants Are For" category - really? Dionne Warwick? Sinbad?

Happy Easter!

Also? Two Nicks of Time

The Nicks Update One:

We sure had fun seeing The Nicks last night. There were many highlights, and most of them revolved around the Fellowship.

Here we are in Rich People Sports Bar getting our drink on before the game.

Diana got a fancy lady drink at the sports bar:

Amber is holding up our tickets so you can see how expensive they were.

The Nicks Update Two:

The Nicks - the other one - is doing press this week for her new CD/DVD.

First, she had this to say about the Spears:

Fleetwood Mac front-woman Stevie Nicks is not, apparently, a fan of Britney Spears. "You have to pay your dues to be a real rock star," Nicks said yesterday. "It's different in that Britney did not join a band when she was 18 and practice every day for five hours Monday through Friday and then play gigs Friday, Saturday and Sunday."

Then in today's paper, she said this about the Lohan:

Lindsay Lohan hopes to buy the rights to her life story and to play her on film. Unmoved, Ms. Nicks responded: “Over my dead body. She needs to stop doing drugs and get a grip. Then maybe we’ll talk.”

I sure like all of the Nicks.

A Sleepin' Bee

The star of Death Becomes Her and Alias Season 4 has finally returned to the screen.



I feel it was worth the wait.

Leather & Lace & B-Ball

So I've been excited all week because Amber & Kevin & Diana invited me to go see "The Nicks" with them tonight at Madison Square Garden.

Now, I'm a big fan of Fleetwood Mac, and an even bigger fan of Miss Stevie Nicks, and I've NEVER seen a live show.

Imagine my surprise when I realized we were talking about something else.

Also? No backpacks allowed in MSG. On the plus side, I get to hang out with my friends.

On the other plus side, I found this baby on youtube.

Also? Bedtime Is For Friendship

Musicals Monday

Whoops, I totally didn't blog yesterday.

What I *did* do though was attend an (off-?)Off-Broadway production called Hey, Do You Know What Would Make A Good Broadway Musical? This Would! just up the street. It was an awful lot like [Title of Show], which I saw last year, except this one starred two boys and a girl instead of two boys and two girls, and was about turning bad movies into musicals, instead of talking about bad musicals, in numbers set to music.


I enjoyed both shows. They're both about the meta-concept of creating a hit Broadway musical in the 2000's, both take digs at Disney's Little Mermaid, both have very specific NYC references (Gristedes! Blockheads!) and both give shout-outs to Comden & Green (even though last night's made fun of the concept of musicals based on movies...so maybe they ignored C&G's Applause).


In the one last night, the conceit is that they'll create big musical productions of 90s movies, like Home Alone, Twister, Jerry Maguire, and Scream. For me, I've only seen 25% of the four movies they were spoofing, so some of the gags were lost on me. Still, it was an enjoyable evening.

Here's a bit they did about a girl fight during Twister. Even without the back-story, it's pretty clever. I like how they're fighting over a character named Bill, then they both try to pay the bill at their restaurant. Word play!


And now here's the boys from [Title of Show] explaining their production.


What I really wish they had done was mix it up, Improv style, so the audience could shout out requests. I would, of course, love to see a musical version of Murder, She Wrote. Or The Girl Most Likely To.... Or Sorority Boys. Or...