9 to 5, 5 Years Running

So, I work for a large corporation, which is part of a larger corporation. Let's call it Scheinhart Wigs.

Anyway, it's 2009 Q1, so when my boss said to me "I've got something for you" and handed me a big envelope, I panicked and fainted. Not really, but I could have.

I did though feel like fainting when I realized that instead of a Laid Off Employees Guide To Crummy Benefits, it was my Five Year Anniversary Certificate. Where did the time go? I proudly displayed it on my shelf next to a stuffed sheep I once found.

This package also came with a gift catalog, which I get to go through and can choose one (1) item.

Any suggestions? I've been told the alarm clock doesn't work. I'm not sure what I would do with matching griddles, or a demitasse set. I have two flower vases already; they're filled with corks.


The food chopper? The pretty bowl?