Canadian (Culture) Club

This weekend I learned a lot about Canadian Culture, and had many adventures in Ye Old Toronto Towne.

First up was a stop at "Old City Hall," which is where the Queen of Canada lives. She comes out every day at "three bells," or "3pm," as we say in America. Tourists will make goofy faces at her to try and make her break into a smile, but she's a stoic old bird.

Next up was "New City Hall," which is a weird obelisk thing where nobody lives. On the lawn of it is a statue of Jebediah Q. Canada, the founder of Canada. He discovered Canada in 1876, trying to make a shortcut from Maine to Mexican California. I tried to mimic his pose here but I'm not sure how well it came out.
In Canada, if you want to marry a gay it's legal, like in Massachusetts or California. For this reason, they have a lot of Gay Art. One gay art event is this Night Of Artistic Fellatio that you can see advertised below. I'm not sure what this is and I think I will stay away.

One popular place to celebrate The Beau Arts, if you know what I mean, is at the Canadian Opera Center, or The COC. It's pronounced with all hard C's, like the rooster, or the once popular East Village gay bar frequented by the odd MTV V-J.

I dunno. Call me a prude, but with all this culture I was happier kicking off my shoes and starfishing in my king-sized hotel bed.

Soon, America!