Ten Miles Of Bad, Bad, Road

This week has been Buffoonville around here. Now, I don't read the news or anything so I'm not sure what this "economy" problem is people are referring to, but apparently they're not buying books and somehow this affects me. What-ev, I say.



When things get bad, I look to my toughie role models. Sometimes I think WWJCD?, as in What Would James Cagney Do? What would he do, you ask? He'd smoosh a grapefruit in the face of everyone who crossed him.

And sometimes I think, WWCJD? What Would Cleopatra Jones Do?

Cleopatra Jones is one of the best movies ever, starring Tamara (Who?) Dobson and Miss Shelley Winters. It came out at the tail-end of the blaxploitation era, and while Ms. Dobson is no Pam Grier, she's pretty fantastic, and as her tagline says, she's ten miles of bad road.

Miss Shelley Winters plays a lesbian crime lord, kind of like a more-mannish version of Barbara Stanwyck in Forty Guns. Instead of racy double-entendres of pistols going off in faces, she shouts bizarre epithets and wears a big red wig.

All I know is, I want people to think of me as 6'2", and all of it dynamite.