Signs Of The Time

So it's been a little while since I posted more Signage of Bafflement. Mainly because in 2009, my job involves less travel (but still a paycheck, so I'm not allowed to complain), so I'm not seeing what foreigners (and Californians) are up to with their silly sign business.

Fortunately, some buddy created this here website. Here are some of my favorites from the collection.

This one here is from South Africa, and I can actually hear this being said with a straight face and an Afrikaans accent.

This one is from Ohio. That's something I don't understand about Ohio.

Hee hee. If your car breaks down in England, yer screwed.

I have to believe that someone in Yass, Australia, was in on this joke.


This one is my personal favorite. It's from England, which kind of explains it. And truthfully, this would work better than the rhythm method.

Thanks, Internet!

Me Times Three, For You To See

More items from the Pack Or Not Pack Debate.

Here's a horrible passport photo I ended up not using. Was it worth the extra $11 for new photos so I didn't have to stare at this for 10 years? Yes, yes it was.

Here's me smooching Stuart Little. I saw a screening of this movie with Gary shortly after college, and they had all sorts of giveaways for us, including these pics. Geena Davis was there to introduce the movie. She had just lost out in the 1998 Olympic Trials for Archery. Sorry Geena.

And finally, here's my college ID, which oddly enough had my SSN printed on it. They took these photos on moving in day, so I'm wearing a ponytail and am suitably flustered. Speaking of Gary, he used this as a fake ID while I was in Amsterdam. Sunrise, Sunset.

Lord only knows what else I'll stumble across as I pack.

Also? Rest in Peace, Dom

Thanks for the memories, Mister. Enjoy that last Cannonball Run up to Heaven.

It Takes Two, take 2

Since the days of Cain vs. Abel, the world has always had dynamic battling duos.

Here's a few pairings I found on the internets recently.


Bunny vs. Snake.



Cat vs. Printer



Tiger vs. Orangutan



Kitten vs. Fan



Cher vs. Tina (vs. Kate Smith!)

Stuffs Like That There

Here's some more things I found when sorting what to pack and what to toss. Two-thirds of these items are moving to my new home.

First off, here's my Senior Thesis. If I recall correctly, it was entitled Creating Pandora's Box: Modern Science's Creation of Sexuality, and I received honors for it.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure the technology is still there for us to read it. If I cared enough, could I still access this? If I can, would anyone like a copy?

Ah, fun times. Once, Amber and I went to the John Fluevog Sample Sale, and she convinced me to buy these babies.

Granted, they were only $20. And if I ever date a Knicks, I'll need them.

Here we have what I'm guessing is about $20 worth - or one pair of John Fluevog Man Pumps - of defunct currencies. In here I see Francs, Guilder, Deustchmarks, and Pesetas.

Maybe this would make a nice base for a planter?

Bea, Pee, & Me

So I am packing up, optimistic that I will be moving in the next few weeks. As I busily fill up Amber's Fresh Direct boxes with 34 years' worth of Miscellany, I'm enjoying the things I find.

Today I found this newspaper clipping that Andy sent to me, apparently in August of 1998 as he road-tripped through Arizona on his way to Texas (the Family Circus Route, apparently).

Rest in Peace, Bea. You're still in our thoughts.

9 to 5, Five By Five By Me

So the reviews came out for 9 to 5 The Musical today, and the Times at least was not so kind. But you know who has two thumbs and doesn't care? This guy!

If you're wondering where I am on May 20th, you can know now that I'm in orchestra seats.

I've loved Miss Dolly Parton since I was a wee lad, which is probably no surprise to anyone. Every now and then people send me Dolly-related links, like Kevin did recently about another one of Dolly's gay rumors, this one tied in to her being both gay AND Hannah Montana's aunt. Storms comin', indeed.

If you want to know my Root Story, you could ask my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Munter. It was the year the movie came out, and the song was everywhere, most especially on my record (yes, record) player. I asked Mrs. M what "ambition" was, and she gave me a suitable definition, but I insisted she was wrong. As anyone knew, it was something you pour into a cup after you tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen.



Anyway, New York mag ran a great interview with Miss Dolly. Here's some of my favorite lines:

The oddest thing I can think to ask is whether, with new deals in merchandising, real estate, touring, and recording all in development, she’ll ever say it’s enough.

“Never!” she answers. “I want to be like one of those little fainting goats that get scared and then just fall over. I want to go and go and then drop dead in the middle of something I’m loving to do. And if that doesn’t happen, if I wind up sitting in a wheelchair, at least I’ll have my high heels on.

And on her face:

“I’m a proud person. I’m not vain. I look at it like it is. If you’ve got the money and you’re going to be out there, you owe it to people not to look like a dog if you can help it."

And this, which I think I get:

“If I have one more face-lift,” she likes to say, “I’ll have a beard.”

Here's a musical montage to get yer excitement up.


See you on the 20th, gals!