Monday, February 27, 2012

Nobody, Especially Not This Person, Does It Better

I love memoirs. I really enjoy reading how people examine their own lives, how they interpret their experiences and what they choose to recollect and what they don't.

And I love most all celeb memoirs - the good ones for the reasons above and even most of the bad ones for the way some people twist and turn experiences so they come up smelling like roses. Biographies too, but there's obviously a difference between writing your own story and writing someone else's.

Know what I don't like? Stupid biographies. I was excited when the NYPL emailed me to say this buddy was ready for pick-up. I'm a casual Carly Simon fan, and figured this would be a fun way to get some context for her albums; a romp through her 70s and 80s love affairs and whatnot.

But you know what? The dummy that wrote it doesn't know a dang thing about anything. Ahem:

Um, if you don't know symbolism, I don't need to spend time reading your stupid book. She doesn't change the sheets for Jesse because he's incontinent, she changes the sheets for him because she's excited he's coming home, and they're going to Do It.

So, this one's going back to the library. And I'm going back to my Carly Simon albums and youtube moments.

This book is so stupid I could R.I.P. myself. Now that would be incontinence.

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