Nessun Dor-mouse Better Watch Out

Sometimes, you really can't do any better than a funny kitty. And when you add Opera - voila!

Encore!

Bunny Madness! Also: Cracker? I Hardly Knew Her. You Cracker.

It happened again!

I received another Ransom Note from a large bunny for my nephew's safe return. All that's missing is today's newspaper in his paws.

This time it came accompanied by a drawing of me & [kitty] Zach. I guess I can sort of see the likeness.

Anyway, since I'm on the baby topic, here's another photo I liked. Mmm, yogurt. Hope it doesn't make his nose run.
Oh and the final bit of news? This bit from my sister:

Zach's word of the day today.... Crack whore. He's trying to say cracker, but sadly emphasizes the syllables awkwardly.

Really, depending on the context, neither one is good.

As American As Apple Pie-rhana; or, Whither Goest Debbie, Goest Tiffany

Wait wait wait - on the day I blog about Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, starring Debbie Gibson, SyFy posts the preview for their upcoming Mega Piranha, starring Tiffany?

My head is about to explode.

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octpus vs. Raquel Welch

So recently at an Awesome Club we watched this classic movie:


I don't want to give *SPOILERS*, but it is about a mega shark who is versus a giant octopus. Sarah and I actually watched an hour or so of this on the Cape last summer during one of our rainy days. I am pleased to say that now that I've gone back and seen the beginning, it doesn't make any more sense than it did the first time. Not that it wasn't enjoyable.

I will tell you, I thought this was the most ridiculous thing I could ever see (watch out, someone says S-word):



But then he ate the Golden Gate Bridge:



But then? But then we watched this on Netflix Watch This Now Instantly. Stick around for the Space Alien Tango after about three minutes:


And to think, I thought Myra Breckinridge would be Raquel Welch's freakiest moment.

In Conclusion, God Bless you, Television. You complete me.

Well, I Only Mailed Mine Last Weds

Click here for the interactive map.

"Only A Suggestion"

Poor Shelley Winters, she never had a chance. At my large screen viewing of A Place In The Sun I noticed Montgomery Clift had a print of drowning Ophelia in his apartment.

As Jessica would tell us, the devil is ALWAYS in the details.

Sunday Arts & Crafts, Kitty Style

Can you spot the real little buddy? Finally, the iPhone has proven its worth.

Doris Day, Dogs

Because, why not?

It Takes A Pearl To Laugh, A Train To Cry

From Jet Magazine, September 16, 1985. Whatever I was doing that day, it wasn't this exciting:
The things you can find on the internet. Thank you, Google Books, thank you.

Curlicue Change We Can Believe In

From my New York Times "News Alert" email yesterday, emphasis mine:

Obama Signs Landmark Health Care Bill

With the stroke of President Obama's pen, his health care overhaul -- the most sweeping social legislation enacted in decades -- became law on Tuesday.

Mr. Obama affixed his curlicue signature, almost letter by letter, to the measure, the Affordable Health Care for America Act, during a ceremony in the East Room of the White House...

I'm always up for a little hand-writing analysis, the word 'curlicue' strikes me as a little bit of code. And this on the day I realized his Nobel Prize acceptance speach was pretty similar to Eve Harrington's when she won the Sarah Siddens Award.

God Bless America, a nation built on curlicues and promise.

"If You Can Escape From The Nazis..."

Wow Betty White. This program looks horrible. On the plus side, it's nice to see you again.

Happy Birthday, Lucille LeSueur!

"If you want to see the girl next door, go next door."

Animated Smooches

This really is something swell. They have all the good kisses - from Gone with the Wind to On Golden Pond to television's Beauty and the Beast to James Cagney and his grapefruit and Archie Bunker and Sammy Davis Jr in that episode Kevin & I saw together at the MTR.

Thanks Evan for calling this one out.

"Stuffed Ukeleles In My Shoes"

If I were Sir Stephen Sondheim, what would I want for my 80th birthday?

Elaine Stritch doing an Eartha Kitt impersonation about flubbed lyrics from "I'm Still Here."



Happy 80th, Steve-o.

92 Years Young

Happy Birthday to my Nana, turning 92 years old today.

Here she is with her great-grand-baby. Her mind isn't what it used to be, but when she connects, she really does.

Scissor Sisterhood of the Traveling Salvation Show

So one thing I like to do often is see Miss Sandra Bernhard.

Sometimes it's at a Doctors Without Borders fundraiser for Tsunami relief, where she shares a stage with Cyndi Lauper and Nancy Sinatra and does a kick-bum version of "Madman Across The Water." Sometimes it's her one-man show, on New Year's Eve @ Joe's Pub, or in San Francisco with Sarah, where we get such giggles during her child abduction riff that we almost have to leave the show.

Sometimes it's when she pops up unexpectedly, like at a Lea Delaria holiday concert when she sings "River" so beautifully. And sometimes it's at a Scissor Sisters concert, where she busts out for "T1ts on The Radio" and I bust a grin until my face cracks.

Evan and I celebrated St. Patrick's Day by checking out their show at Bowery Ballroom.

I snapped this so-so pic with my so-called smart phone:

And some buddy posted this video clip on the internets - the sound is terrible but if you put it on mute you can enjoy the exuberance.



And here, for the win, Miss Sandra Bernhard with Winger performing Heart's "Alone."



God Bless America.

Live Blogging! I Guess The Dogs In My Neighborhood Can Read

All Advertising Is Local*

* Not true. All POLITICS is local. But anyway, these guys have a cool project going.

This one is my favorite so far, but really I giggle anytime anyone says "Butt" or "Rear."



During my morning coffee tomorrow I'll hunt for some other beauts.

A Tale Of Two Dollies & One CRD

One of my fondest memories was at the Tony Awards with Pearl Bailey and Carol Channing.

I especially like it because I do sometimes feel like I am the missing link between Carol Channing and Pearl Bailey.

(that Stritchy photo was real though, just for the record)

An Irish Carol

I feel like the best way to celebrate St. Patrick's Day is to enjoy this clip of Carol Channing in Alice in Wonderland.

Hope you're wearing green! Otherwise I might pinch you.

Who's The Boss, Indeed?

God Bless, Katherine Helmond. The things you find when you google image search Kenn Duncan.

Wait, It's Not Bee-Wear, the Ides of March?

Murder, She Joysticked

If I had only known about this earlier in my life, think of all the hours I wasted READING or SLEEPING when I could have been playing this!

Here's my favorite screen shot. Sorry, Sally!


Here's the video game trailer:

Buy now!

Thanks James, for sending this!

Kitty, Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls

This has made the rounds a few times, but is ALWAYS worth my time.

Happy Rainy Weekend!

Turning Japanese-y

Here are some fun things I learned about Japan.

Their McDonalds' commercials are SPOOKY.



Their whales eat giant squid:

And finally, for now, here's my new favorite Japanese sitcom.

I can't wait for the American remake starring Joey from Friends.

God Bless, America. And also God Bless Japan.

Another Suitcase, Another Spam Folder

Dear Andrew Lloyd Webber,

I am only too happy to opt out of your email alerts. And I really like the specificity within the Opt Out options. Well-played, sir.

Workplace Obsolescence

NPR has this nice story on The Jobs Of Yesteryear, including interviews & such.

I guess it's only logical, but I hadn't thought that there were people at the bowling alleys who would run out and set up the pins.

Type-setting!
In the early 20th century, Lectors were hired to read to factory workers - here's one in 1909 in a cigar shop. Since these were union shops, it was mostly lefty trades that were read aloud. I wish they still had this job today, so Kevin could do it. I bet he'd do the Police in different voices.

Here's some soon-to-be obsolete jobs.




Oh well. Here's hoping we make it to 65 before the kids start downloading content for free right to their eyeballs.

The Japanese Eat The Darndest Things

Really, Japan?

According to this here article, there are 19 different Kit Kat flavors in Japan.

This one here is kind autumnal. I was never one of those people who liked the pumpkin-spiced latte at Starbucks, but if I did I'd get the Pumpkin Kit Kats for dunking.

Mmm, Pineapple. Don't eat this one, Amber!

I love Watermelon.
Mmmm, Corn. BARF
This one makes my teeth hurt just thinking about it.
This one at least makes sense. Green Tea!
Anyway, The End. I know someone in Japan right now, I look forward to getting all 19 flavors as my souvenir.

The Bigger The Business The Better

Seriously? A friend of mine has never seen this movie.

This movie encapsulates all the reasons I have pride in my country. God Bless, America.

OH NO! Did I Miss The Rapture?

The Oscars: A Sassy Take

Apparently last night was the Oscars. I watched the first hour then tucked in.

Anyway, here's someone taking the pee out of the process.

We Must Believe We Are Muppets

Now, two of my favorite things are Cyrstal Gayle and the Muppets. I discovered both of them at a young age, and I appreciate them just as much now that I am in my fourth decade (right? the decade you're in is one more than how old you are?).
I had this record here as a young tot, and would play it over and over again. I loved her pretty voice, and was fascinated with how her hair went down to her feet. I remember asking my mom a lot of questions about how she washed it and put a comb through it. It was only years later that I learned she was Loretta Lynn's sister. Who knew?

Gayle of course sang with Tom Waits on the soundtrack to One From The Heart, probably one of my favorite movies.
But more importantly to me as a kid was her guest spot on The Muppet Show. I remember this scene vividly, and remember rushing upstairs afterwards to sing along with the record (what Deus ex Machina my parents had it in their collection!) to sing along with, in front of the mirror. How I wanted to be on that pirate ship.

It was one of the very first things I hunted for on the youtube.

And here it is. Thanks Crystal, & Muppets.

Sunday Sunshine!

Where did Della Reese learn such dirty words?

Of Mini Me's & Such

"Angry Is No More!"

I mean, this collection of poorly done subtitles is funny enough.

I'm sure what Borat had to say was just as confusing as what they typed underneath:
I think this one is from Star Wars:
Hee hee. Poop!
Just like when we would play with fake laser guns as kids!
Amber and I watched this movie once. I remember the line differently.
Anyway, The End.

In Her Very Own Loaf Pan

So on our way in to see Barb Jungr, Jazz Chanteuse, at the Cafe Carlyle, we got to see Elaine Stritch AGAIN. This time she was finishing up her dessert at her table from the early show. She didn't so much perform as just pick at some fruit on her plate, but it was still a delight.


Anyway, this is what Rex Reed, star of Myra Breckinridge, had to say about Stritchy recently in his New York Observer column:

Most of today’s singers emerge like raw dough, desperate to be kneaded into some recognizable shape. Ms. Stritch arrives fully baked in her own loaf pan. There is nobody quite like her and never will be.

God Bless, everyone.

In The 'Even A Stopped Clock' Department...

Dear Amazon.com -

I have long been a fan of your product, Suggested Purchases For Me From Your Past Purchases Matrix. Yes, you are right that I am interested in this. However, it is not necessarily because of my interest in other films in the M> Mayberry, Russ category.

I happen to really like Suspenseful Crime Dramas.

Barbs, Rivers

On Saturday we went to see Barb Jungr, Jazz Chanteuse. It was my second event at the Cafe Carlyle, and while it was a bit cheaper than the first, it was still a hoot (Even though some people got over-served at the bar and had "sinus headaches" the next day.)

I love the Jazz Chanteuses. In December I got to see Sophie Milman, and then Holly Cole, and those shows made me realize I should get off my fanny (Amer.) and do this more often.
Anyway, Ms. Jungr was great. The show was themed as "River" songs - the set list included a fantastic version of "Suzanne," (she feeds you tea & oranges down by the river), "My Father" (the Seine is a river, after all), the Kinks' "Waterloo Sunset," and more.
I like music a lot, obviously, but it sometimes takes a setting like this for me to really get into the lyrics - I've heard "Suzanne" at least 400 times in 50 different versions, and on Saturday night it was like it was the first time.

Fortunately, the internet has some clips.

Here she is doing the Springsteen song, definite article and all.


And here's a Dylan number:


And do yourself a favor and visit her website and check out her version of "Once In A Lifetime." Excellent.

Thanks Barb. See you next time you're in town.