I Can't Believe This Man Was Knighted!

Every time I see this man I laugh out loud.

My Pet Rock

My Nana's generation had Clark Gable & Cary Grant. My parents, Warren Beatty & Robert Redford. How lucky am I that I got to meet the 21st Century equivalent this weekend?

I caught him by surprise and even air-smooched him!

God Bless America.

Fear Street

One of the fun things David and I did in South Carolina was visit Alligator Island. This was a little island off the coast of America, and we got there by taking a 30 minute ferry ride. I was a bit anxious before the trip that I would get seasick like I always do, but I didn't. My seasickness seems limited to catamarans.

We were mostly excited to visit some Friends and/or Foes. Here at Internals Plural, we're always on the lookout for our reptilian comrades.

First we found this one. I am doing some sort of approximation/cartoon-version of fear in the photo. The little beasty was sleeping and clearly wasn't very interested in us. Still, pretty impressive. Friend.

Now this bastard decided he was going to sunbathe in the road. He didn't seem very interested in stepping aside for us to resume our journey, so we had to take an alternate route. That is true fear I am expressing, as I was trying to bravely inch closer, like Joan Crawford towards Trog. Foe.

Some wiseacre told us that the gators can run up to 30 mph. We figured we'd have to clock in at 35 mph to outrun them.

Secretly, I knew if it came down to it, I'd just trip David and scoot along on my own. Surely the gator would only want one of us, right? I guess that makes me more Foe than Friend.

God Bless, Friends and Foes.

Some Great Footage

In case you missed it, here's the National Television Debut of Tyler's Feet and my Voice.

Backdoor Bea

We love when our Golden Girls talk dirty.

Babies, Mama

Last night Tyler, Jen and I went to a *FREE* screening of Baby Mama, the new Tina Fey movie. You might think we got in for *FREE* because of my Internals Plural blog credentials, but really it's because we talked to someone holding a clipboard outside of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which we saw yesterday.



Forgetting Sarah Marshall was like Heartburn but with more jokes and less Carly Simon songs, and Baby Mama was like Outrageous Fortune, but with fewer giant leaps and more babies.

My favorite part was after the movie when I went to the special website they created, where you can make your OWN baby by using pictures of yourself & prospective baby-making partner.

I think the cutest baby of them all would be from Amber and Zach.

Cutie Baby!

Charleston: Local Fauna

Whilst we were at a rooftop bar enjoying our minty drinks, David pointed out some of the local peculiarities.

Having come of age in a Massachusetts suburb in the 1980's, I am quite familiar with the notion of Preppies. However, except for the times I run screaming from the room when American Psycho comes on the TV, I hadn't seen such sights in years.

We noticed this one with much interest. He had the boat shoes with no socks, the colorful belt with some sort of aquatic beast on it, the pleated khakis, the button down striped Ralph Lauren(TM) shirt, and the Oakley sunglasses with the tie thingy at the back.

Charleston sure has some sights!

I also enjoyed this Historical Monument, which I tried to photograph in my most Leni Riefenstahl-ian way.
And while there were some houses dating back to the Civil War, this was the sight from the past that most impressed me. This really is the Land That Time Forgot!

Condition: Mint

I am having a wicked mint time here in the Charleston with David.

For starters, yesterday we had outdoor drinks at a roof bar. I had a mint julep!

Then, we were lucky enough to go the Hairy Teeter Grocery Store, and we got mint chip ice cream!

Charleston is mint!

Charleston Club!

This morning I got up real early, then took a bus to a plane to another plane, and now I'm in Charleston, SC!

I am visiting my chum David, from college. We are about to embark on some Awesome Times, but first David needs to check out his lab rats. Before he picked me up at the airport he gave them some beer, and now he has to go see how much beer they drank. I think Science is great.

Soon, mirth!

It Takes Two

On Friday a co-worker and I got into a friendly debate over what the best duet ever was. Clearly, there's no right answer, except for mine.

I'm pretty certain that "Islands In The Stream" by Miss Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers, written by the Brothers Gibb, is the best. After that, maybe "Fairytale of New York" by Kirsty MacCall & the Pogues.

Anyway, this morning my iPod woke me up with that great one from a late afternoon in 1990, "Candy" by Iggy Pop & Kate Pierson.

What's your fave? Leave me a comment.

Here's my sentimental fave.

Unhappy Feet

And you thought 20/20 was just for big time celebs like Tori Spelling.

There is much excitement afoot tonight, as Tyler will make his National Television Debut on ABC TV at 10pm (9pm Central).

A certain scourge of the liberal media called Tyler up one day and asked him to be in a study for his TV program on those Japanese Foot Pads we've been hearing so much about on late night television.

If you don't know about them, these Kinoki pads are all the rage right now. You tape these white pads to the bottom of your feet before you go to bed at night, and in the morning they have supposedly taken all the toxins out of your body. The pad is now a nasty brown, which is all your "toxins." It also smells surprisingly like Hickory Smoke BBQ.

So a few weeks ago Tyler did the foot thing, and the pads were sent off to the lab for some Science work. Be sure to set your TiVo for tonight's show. as Mr. Stossel blows the lid off this one!

Blowin' Yolk

Before they moved to Ireland, Kevin & Diana hosted a Crafts Party. As Amber reported, I used my considerable skills to make Yarn Chicks, and was at one point the resident expert (After Diana) on Yarn Chickanery.

One of the Crafts that I didn't participate in was Yolk Blowing. This was done using one's mouth, an egg, and a bowl.

You poke a hole in the bottom of the egg with your sword, then blow with all your might to get all the pre-chick out of the egg.

I was going to try it, but then was afraid I'd get the dizzies. Also, it looked pretty gross. Like most great art, the beauty of the hollow painted egg is preceded by grossness.

Eggs were invented by the Germans in the 1960s, during the great German Potato Famine (Gross Deutsche Eis-bär Fest). God Bless, German Marketers.

The Not Quite Divine Comedy

Last night Tyler and I kept up our streak of High Culture this week.  In the past seven days we've seen a production of Oscar Wilde, the Altar Boyz, Janeane Garofalo, and I've seen Dame Maude Maggart.

We capped off our Culture run with Creation Nation last night at the Zipper Factory.  It's sort of sketch comedy, and it's a little sketchy, to be sure.  It was about 60% funny, 10% wicked funny, but it was always very LOUD.

This little movie holds true to those percentages.

I dunno. The funniest part of the night for me was when I looked at my camera and saw the picture of Tyler wearing my sister's glasses from when she was a little girl.

In The Garden Of ALH

I sure am glad Amber quit her job at Tap Dance Monthly and signed up to be the Chief Gardener at the Bronx Garden Of Botanical Delights.

While I didn't receive my April issue of TDM, I was able to download all the articles for free. This minor irritation was more than balanced out to my free ticket to the 2008 Orchid Festival.

These pretty flowers have since become mulch for their brethren, but they live on in my memory, and in my iPhoto.

Either these were my favorite Orchids, or they were the ones that photographed best:

Here's Amber trying on an Orchid headdress:

Here's Diana with her favorite, the Dangling Participle Orchid:

I sure like Art that comes in Plant Form.

Of Thee I Sing-A

I mean really, this is Genius.

You know, I don't know if it was funny Then, but it sure is funny Now. God Bless, Owl Jolson. What a hoot!

That Golden Girl

Here's a little long form for a Sunday. God Bless, Betty White.

Earnest Goes To Queens

Last night Tyler and I took the 7 train one stop into Queens and saw a program called The Importance Of Being Earnest, which is sort of like Moon Over Miami but with less music, more tea, less Charlotte Greenwood, more bon mots. It sure was fun.

My friend Wendy directed it with her theatre group, the homonym friendly Aisling Arts.

I first met Wendy in high school, where we became fast friends. We would have such adventures as driving around town, going to Harry's restaurant, and listening to mix tapes. We were in several school plays together, most famously as "Wendy And Dancing Bear" (That's me on the left!):

Since then she's been up to quite a bit, including making a cutie baby:

Thanks for all the friendship and the Oscar Wilde, Wendy!

Doris Day She Was Born

Happy Birthday, Doris Day! 84 years young.

My favorite Doris Day movie is probably The Man Who Knew Too Much, where she saves the day by introducing "Que Sera, Sera" into the world. I also love Lullaby Of Broadway, and just about everything else she's in.

Amber's favorite Doris Day is Touch Of Mink, where she plays a 40 year old virgin (decades before Steve Carrell thought of it!) who falls for lothario Cary Grant, and has a panic attack when he suggests they Do It pre-nuptually.

We both like one of DD's last movies, With Six You Get Eggroll, featuring a young Barbara Hershey and the always wonderful Alice Ghostley, who later played dear old Bernice on Tyler's favorite show, Designing Women.

Doris Day's favorite thing, according to this commercial, is Blue Band Margareen.

How Many Dames Does It Take?

Can you imagine, in alphabetical order, Carol Channing, Ethel Merman, Ann Miller, and Miss Della Reese in one show?

There hasn't been this much hamminess on stage since Charlotte's Web.

God Bless, Love Boat.

Babies, English Style

My friends Damon & Susan made the cutest little babies. They keep their babies with them in jolly Olde Englande.

I haven't met the babies yet, but I sort of met one of them as she was inside Susan the last time I saw her.Anyway, I got this pic in the mail and saw one of the babies had no clothes! Quelle Scandal, as the dirty Frenchies say.

I ran right out and got some thread for my sewing machine, & came up with a jaunty pink hat, which all babies love.

(I think the baby goes in this contraption when D&S go out for the day, so she can't get into any trouble)
The jaunty hat goes good on the bigger baby too. Hats are so versatile.

I knitted this grey number by hand, and put on those green buttons. I thought it would look nice on either a grown-up or a baby - but it was easier to make it baby-sized.

Bye Bye, Babies! God Save, The Queen!