Dungarees!

I learned a valuable lesson today, which is that if you are leaving Macy's and the alarm goes off, don't just be annoyed and keep going because you think it does not affect you.

Maybe it means you don't get to wear your new dungarees tonight because the sales person didn't take off the security tag. Happy New Year!

Special Amber Weekend

In a few hours, ALH is arriving for her end of year visit. We plan on having Good Times and Mirth.

Last time she visited she borrowed James' hat and she looked like a Make-A-Wish Kid. My wish this visit is for fun times!

(James took this good picture. He has more pictures here.)

Amber & The Wildness of Animals

Amber arrives tomorrow, which is Awesome.

Sometimes when she visits she trims Marcus' nails. Marcus doesn't live with me anymore, so here's hoping she trims mine!


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Lazy Thursday

Here at Scrooge & Schuster, we are supposed to work the week between Christmas & New Year's. It has been very quiet here today, and very boring, so I have been cleaning out my office and taking care of menial tasks, like doing my expenses & organizing my pens by the color spectrum.

In my desk I found this little fella. I'm not sure why he has a helmet on.

Happy Boxing Day!

'Tis The Season: Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from all of us at Internals Plural! Click here for a little dance we choreographed - it takes a little while to load, but I think it's worth it!

Family Time!

Today is Christmas Eve so my family is in town and we're having Fun Times. This is a picture of my parents and some friends of theirs from the Boston Aquarium. Fortunately only my parents are staying with me, not the friends.

We went shopping in the East Village and my mom liked all the chairs at Surprise Surprise. My dad liked seeing some of his old Beatles memorabilia on display at Love Saves The Day, but of course his were all thrown out when he went off to college.

We went to The Smith restaurant for lunch and my mom and I each had the tomato soup and my dad had a vegetable sandwich. We shared a starter of warm potato chips w/ bleu cheese.

Christmas Eve is awesome. Right now we're having cider & tea (two kinds of hot drinks - more on that topic here) and my dad is napping. Soon it'll be Chinese food and stocking exchange!

Christmas!

Lazy Sunday, Bea Arthur Style

What better way to celebrate a lazy Sunday pre-Christmas, than a drug-fueled duet between Sir Rock Hudson and Sir Bea Arthur?

Faces: Funny and Not-Funny

Life is about Learning Lessons sometimes. Like how to know when everyone else is making a funny face in a picture and you should too, and when no one else is making a funny face and you shouldn't either.I am different than the Lord Jesus in that at age 33 I still have some learning to do.

'Tis The Season: Australia vs. America

In Australia, they celebrate Christmas in the Summer Time, on account of being on the other side of the world. They don't think there's anything funny about going to the beach on Christmas Day, or throwing another shrimp on the barbi, Stifler-style. They just don't know any better.
I took this picture of a pretty tree in Melbourne. It sure is weird hearing Christmas songs and seeing trees when you're wearing shorts & drinking iced coffee.

In America we like it freezing cold for Christmas. It's Feels Like 30F (-1C) outside, which means it is cold enough that there is nothing you to can do to be happy.


It was so cold once that the Abominable Snowman visited me when I lived on Tiemann Place.

Australia: Not Always The Most Exciting Place On The Bottom Of The Earth

Australia is like America in that not everything is super-interesting.The Sydney Fernery is exactly as exciting as it sounds.
I was very lucky that my time in Sydney overlapped with the Australian Philatelic Traders Association's Sydney Stamp Show. Or was I?

Little Miss Barbara Stanwyck

Who doesn't love Barbara Stanwyck? Jerks, that's who.

On Monday night Tyler and I watched Christmas in Connecticut. It's definitely not a great movie, but just like in Big Valley, she brings the A Game to every scene. Poor Dyan Cannon didn't have a chance to match her in the TV remake, directed by the Governator. Here's wishing Jenny Garner all the best in her 2009 try.

I think my favorite Stanwyck movie might be Ball Of Fire, where she plays Sugarpuss O'Shea and teaches stuffy Gary Cooper about slang, like "shove in your clutch" and "get me on the Ameche." She also does a mighty fine version of "Drum Boogie" with Mr. Gene Krupa.

She's also pretty great in Double Indemnity, Clash By Night, Baby Face, and of course The Lady Eve.

"Let us by crooked, but never common." Words to live by.

Protecting The Bush, Australia Style

Here's a nice sign I saw in Australia. Sometimes I have the pervy sense of humor of a fourteen year old boy.

'Tis The Season: Tree, Trimmed

One great thing about a studio apartment is that once you put up the Christmas Tree, you can see it from just about wherever you are in the house.

One great thing about trimming a tree is that you can use it as an excuse to eat a lot of Christmas-themed junk food, and wine, and invite over some friends.


This year in exchange for food and a place for having mirth, I was given beautiful ornaments by my friends for the tree.

So much fun was had that Tyler fell asleep on the couch, visions of sugar-plums and sugar cookies dancing in his head.

'Tis The Season: Tree Trimming!

Guess what today is? Tree Trimming Day! Tyler and Zach went out this morning to fetch us a nice big six-footer from Nova Scotia, and no I don't mean Anne Murray.

'Tis The Season: Friendship

One great thing about the holiday season is the chance to re-connect with old friends, through things like Holiday Cards or Tree Trimming Parties. Another great thing is the chance to make new ones.

Tyler has been doing exactly that on our shopping trips. Here he is with two new chums:

We met this fella at the Trader Joe's Wine Store in Union Square.

And just around the corner in Union Square, in Kmart, is this fella. I wish there was a Missed Connections site for snowmen, because I'd sure like these two to find each other.

Glow In The Dark Pussy!

The South Koreans have created their greatest thing since bi bim bop.


Those wily scientists at Gyeongsang National University have found a way to CLONE CATS THAT GLOW IN THE DARK. There's some ostensible reason for this, like gene manipulation and how to perfect the human race through genetic engineering, but if we remember anything from the Jukes and Kallikaks, this way leads trouble.

If you want to educate yourself, here's the article.

Personally, I'm just excited to create my own Zach. And if we ever decide to go out at night and fight crime, what a sidekick I'll have!

America vs. Australia (Christmas Party)

I am back now in America, and I have to say that Winter is over-rated. It is cold and rainy here and the sun goes down at lunch time. Also, I go to work.

Tonight is my office Christmas Party. It's at Tavern on the Green and we're being bused there from the office. The "invitation" said that we are responsible for our own transport home, or more succinctly: "after that employees are on their own." I'm not so impressed by this.

In Australia we had our Christmas Party at a nice restaurant right on the beach, and that afternoon we had an office trip to play Lawn Bowls, a complicated outdoor game that crosses bowling and bocce.
Can you find the 'bad touch' in this photo?

Homeward Bound!

I am here now in the Qantas Lounge, soon to board a flight from Auckland to LAX, then onward to JFK, then at long last: (after six different ones) a night in my own bed. To sleep, perchance to dream, and perchance with a puss on the pillow snuggled to my head.

New Zealand has been a delightful capper to this trip, and much time and mirth have been enjoyed with friends - including Shelley's delightful baby, Shelley Jr., aka Millie.

The only part of New Zealand that scared me is the Famous Terrifying Santa Claus that stands atop the Whitcoull's Bookshop on Queen Street.

The particular picture doesn't quite do him justice, as his index finger is motorized as if beckoning wee kiwi babies to come whisper their Christmas secrets in his oversized mechanical ear.

God Bless America.

Australia! Melbourne!

Melbourne is my second favorite city in Australia. One thing I like a lot about: it is always my last city in Australia. Since I left America back in November, I have slept in four hotels, and have had countless meetings. I'm beat.

I like to end my stay at the Park Hyatt in Melbourne. It's a little pricey, but by this point I like to be treated nice.

Here's my king-sized bed, which I starfish in:

And here's my jumbo bath tub. It even has a TV in case I want to watch in the tub!

I'm going to fill it up, put Willie Nelson's Red Headed Stranger on the iPod stereo, and soak up some Aussie water. Then I'll watch it wash down the drain the wrong way around, then on to bed! G'day!

Couch Rules

Can you believe CRD is still away? I sure can't. It seems from his remote post that he's having a nice time, but we sure miss him! I'm running out of guest pith!

CRD had suggested that a potential guest post might be dedicated to "Some Great ALH-CRD Controversies (The time the beer spilled on CRD's head and the futon, How CRD fell asleep during that Bill Murray movie)." I think his goal here was for me to tell a story of how our friendship triumphed over adversity. We've encountered many adversities but always remain friends because the foundation of our friendship rests solidly on programs and snacks and Couch Rules.

Our Couch Rules, rules that are in effect when sitting on a couch watching programs, have evolved over the years, but one critical rule was formulated in 2003 while watching Friends. The rule is that, if you don't understand a cultural reference that either a character on a program or your couchmate makes, you can safely confess and ask for clarification rather than laughing uncomfortably and then going home and Googling.

In retrospect, it is hard to imagine that Rachel, Joey, Chandler, Pheobe, Monica or Ross made a joke so oblique that Chris and I missed it. When he gets back, CRD will have to try to remember what the specific reference was. And, because of Couch Rules I can admit I don't remember!

Friendly Neighborhood Sheen Brothers

It's still me, ALH, guest-blogging while CRD is Down Under. One of the topics he suggested I discuss with you was Sheen Brothers. The photo above is the view down East 10th Street, with the intersection of Avenue B in the distance at the traffic light. Sheen Brothers is the deli on the right with the blue awning. It was originally called Avenue B Farm. Although it changed management it remained the source of many a gastric delight for CRD and I: red & white, chips and salsa, Entenmann's cakes, cans of soup, soda, beer. You name it; they had it at Sheen Brothers.

The best thing about Sheen Brothers was its proximity to my couch. You could be sitting on the couch and suddenly think, "Boy, I would sure like some Popems." And then, lo! You could walk to Sheen Brothers in your pjs with flip flops and fulfill your wish. If I was on my toes, I could call CRD, who was one of the first people I knew that had a cell phone, and have him make a pit stop at Sheen Brothers on his way over. Many a roll of toilet paper was replaced in this fashion.

And when I move back to Avenue B and work at Kids Discover again and everything is just like it was in 2004 before I ruined it all, once again CRD and I will shop at Sheen Brothers.

Another Program from Ye Olde Times

Once Buffy had ended, CRD and I had to find another program around which to center our meals and couch time. We chose Sex & The City because it was available On Demand on cable.

One Saturday, we spent a whole day watching Season 2. Our cocktail of choice was the vodka gimlet served straight up, and we had several servings of Red & White to keep our energy levels up during the watching. Red & White, for those who don't know, is vanilla ice cream served with raspberry sorbet. Yum!

Neither of us really liked Aidan very much but we sure liked Steve and knew he was right for Miranda long before she did.

Also, we sure thought those ladies must be cold, wearing sandals all winter long. When we ventured out to get more Red & White in flip flops, we nearly froze.

Programs CRD & I Have Enjoyed

It's me, ALH, again, dear reader. It was nice to have CRD visit in his blog yesterday, and it made me remember that these trips are always way too long. In Ye Olde Times when I lived in NYC and CRD had a different job, these trips would always coincide with May sweeps. This meant that CRD would always miss the end of our favorite programs. When he would get back, we would have a whole lot of couch time to catch up.

Our first program was Buffy The Vampire Slayer. We used to have Buffy Club on Tuesdays. Sometimes, I would make mac & cheese or another one-dish delight, but most of the time we got take-out Burritoville or San Loco Tacos. At these establishments, CRD would get the Holy Mole Burrito or two Chicken Queso Locos, respectively.


We loved Buffy. CRD especially loved Anya. I loved seeing what color and style her hair would be each week.

When Buffy ended, we expanded our program menu, but our food menu stayed pretty much the same.

Ah. Good times.

Australia!

Bad news all - this post is not from the silver-tongued ALH.

My flight over was uneventful, despite some turbulence over Hawaii which made my tum hurt. I caught a good five hours sleep, and in between watched on my mini-TV such programs as: The Office (US), The Office (UK), Kath & Kim, Cold Case, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Little Britain, and some more that I forgot. I also read some magazines and did crossword puzzles.

I had one of those pod seats which almost lets me fully extend.

This time I'm staying at the Radisson Hotel on Liverpool Street. I had never stayed here before, but it's in a good location and they gave me a suite, which is nice in case I decide to have a party.

One thing I like a lot about this hotel is it is right near the Scary Canary Pub. I haven't been inside yet, but it's one of the best-named pubs I've ever seen. And the drink specials look scoopy!

It's already the end of tomorrow here, and let me say that Sunday was hot and sunny and I had outside lunch withe some friends. Being in the future is great!

Snack Questions: Answered

From the airport lounge before he left, CRD wrote

In the lounge here, they have mixed in Cheetos and pretzels with the Chex Party Mix. Fancy! Remember in the Old Days when you had to buy 3 different kinds of Chex Cereal to make Party Mix? Do they even still make Chex Cereal?

After some exhaustive research, I have discovered that General Mills still does make Chex Cereal. The snack mix has only increased in popularity and variety. It now comes in several different flavors, including Salty.
From the Chex homepage, I couldn't find my way to a listing of the different cereal flavors. You have to go to the recipes section (in case you prefer to mix your own) and come to the listing from there.

Despite the emphasis on snack mixes, Chex cereal now comes in a variety of flavors, although maybe that's just to give you greater mixing creativity.

Interesting Things About Australia I Know

CRD is in Australia right now. Australia has incredible biodiversity, and many animals are found there that are found no where else in the world.

My favorite among these is the Bandicoot. It's like a little kangaroo, but they dig burrows in the ground and have silly long snouts.
And of course, there is also the Robert Scorpio.

Four Facts About CRD I Know

1. When CRD was a cutie little boy, he liked Barry Manilow. Or, maybe he just posed with the album once.

2. CRD used to live way uptown, but moved away when I moved into the neighborhood.


3. CRD came to every Holiday Party I ever had while I lived on Avenue B. Once he wore leather pants, but the next time he brought David Berman instead.
4. When I worked at The New York Review of Books the second time, CRD worked at Random House which was right next door. He would come pick me up at my office sometimes. I would wear mannish plaid shirts sometimes.

Guest Blogging!

Hello, faithful Internals Plural readers! I'm ALH from Amber & and I'll be guest blogging for CRD while he is Down Under. CRD gave me an approved list of topics that his readers might find interesting, so you'll get none of the ape poop chat that is the norm on my own pages.

We'll all miss CRD, but I'll try to keep you amused until his return. I sure hope he packed the cleaning hood for his trip in case it's dirty down there!

Be sure to check back tomorrow for some CRD-approved content and a glimpse into CRD's inner being from the perspective of a fellow blogger!

Australia Club

This afternoon a car takes me to Newark Airport, then a plane takes me to LAX, then another plane takes me to Sydney, and then I'm in Australia for a couple weeks.

In Australia they say funny things like "Up To Pussy's Bow" and "Mate." Do you know what either of these things means? Leave a comment!

I'm most excited about seeing my friends Kath & Kim in Australia. With luck, we'll run into each other at Fountaingate.


While I'm crossing the International Dateline, Amber might tear herself away from her margaritas long enough to leave some bons mot here. I wonder what she'll say!

The Pie Maker

Sometimes on Thanksgiving I bleed, cry, or sit on the beach. This year I did none of the above, and instead had a Very Adkins Thanksgiving. Here's Tyler preparing something (a Pie, perhaps?) whilst the Bradkins tends to the stove.

Did you have a good Thanksgiving?

Kenneth & The Kittens

Another thing I'm thankful for this year is Bonus Content on DVDs.

Here's my friend Kenneth talking about kitty cats.

Giving The Thanks

On Thanksgiving, I like to give thanks for the things in the past year that are Good.

These things include Zach, shown here with a Friend (Foe?) in a Face Bite Show Down.

Bingo!

It Was Otter This World

The Monterey Bay Aquarium had many wonderful things, several of which were the otters. Tyler loved them with all his heart.

He got a little one to take home with us. Can you find Tyler in the picture below? Hint: use the mirror!